Thursday, July 6, 2017

Escape the Echo Chamber

The world is merely a story you are writing. Whatever you want to have happen happens. The internet is a prime example of the flexibility of reality. As you search, so shall you get search results. Whatever your political leaning or worldview, you will find the corner of the internet that echoes your sentiments and populates the trenches of the evil other side.

The internet saps your energy because you are the one producing the image you see, but you do this unknowingly, and so you don't notice your energy depleting as you set up the props and puppets that enact the plot you sleeplessly yet somnambulistically wrote. The so-called real world is but a slowed down version of the internet. You eventually find what you subconsciously look for there as well.

If you're tired of make-believe conflicts and making love to blow up dolls, there is a way out. It is to become aware of this constant seeking outside yourself for a confirmation of thoughts you've generated inside yourself. Objectively observe the molding of this sculpture you call yourself by the slings and arrow of outward fortune, which all seem to come from outside yet are your own hands or, more precisely, your own thoughts reacting to the pseudorandom numbers the dark cloud of chaos dances in answer to your rain dance calling for it.

There is a point of decision in which you threw out the peace of nonbelief and began believing things. Perhaps you can remember a time in your childhood when you encountered the thought, "You are a bad boy/girl," and decided it was true. Along with that thought came the promise of punishment from a perceived other to mar the serenity of a mind where thoughts were mere playthings and not the confining walls of granite they were to become. Fight the walls and you testify to their reality while bruising your fists. Deny the walls and you throw away the key while still acting within their confines.

Fortunately there is a window through which you can peek out of this prison and glimpse the endless field of innocence outside. No matter how long you've sentenced yourself to a belief in punishment, there is that hole in the belief that naturally rips apart the entire thought system upon recognition. This is the constructive use of doubt or judgment. You are always so ready to doubt others' ideas and motives; why not apply this skepticism to your own insanity? You are not fundamentally and incorrigibly insane no matter how long you've played at being so. Return to the still point from which you choose all experiences. Rest a while there. And choose again.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

The Holy Grail and Ordinary Cups

In my quest for the holy grail, I've ignored the readily available cups along the way with which I could have easily quenched my thirst. I search the internet far and wide, consuming copious articles, opinion pieces, and comments, appealing to authority to tell me The One True Way I should direct my life energy. Perfectionism dovetails with procrastination, and I die of thirst surrounded by water.

I do this with spirituality as with my work-related endeavors. I'm perpetually afraid of publishing a piece of my soul for the world to see and potentially criticize. My desire to give stunted by my fear of rejection, a ball of tension builds up inside and slowly cripples me. What I resist are actually the answers within myself.

Ironically, I'm afraid that if I set them free, they will set me free. Who am I to express myself fully? Special snowflakes get crushed in this heartless world. Stay in line and wait your turn for the meager handouts of the welfare state. Don't even try to make something out of nothing unless you're guaranteed it will be a big success.

Wise meme says Jesus saves while Buddha does incremental backups. I don't have to wait for the holy grail and the accompanying rapturous deluge; I can just take the ordinary cup in front of me and start sipping on the ambrosia of life today. Today's mugs have these message inscribed on them:
A broken vase with its cracks repaired with gold
Kintsugi: Embracing imperfection
  1. Making someone's day just slightly better is more important than hoarding information about how to do it the best way.
  2. Fear is a compass pointing you to a courageous vision within waiting to burst out of the cozy illusion of safety.
  3. Mistakes are golden testaments to your initiative and perseverance.